The Heart's Lie
by ClassicDreamer
Summary: May deals with depression, pregnancy, love, treachery, intrigue, motherhood & Lex.
1. Chapter 1

Background:  
This takes place a few months after the end of Season 5. Mega's virus was never released, all the other events remain the same, but there was never any reason for the mallrats to flee the city. Instead they stayed on after Mega's defeat intent on making their dream a reality.

Chapter 1:

May laid on her bed staring into nothingness. Her hand lay on her extended stomach and beneath her palm she felt the baby kick. Her thoughts were a jumble of worries and lies. She didn't know how she had come to this. She had never imagined herself as a mother, could not imagine making a life with the father of the baby. Where most mothers would be excited about the future and looking forward to bringing a new life in the world, to May, her future seemed bleak and hopeless.

The door to her room opened and Ellie appeared in the doorway…"May, I've got some lunch done, why don't you come down to the café and have something to eat."

"Go away, I'm not hungry."

"May, you didn't have dinner last night, and you just barely had lunch yesterday. You're eating for two now and you need to keep your strength up."

"I said I'm not hungry…Leave me alone." She said a bit more forcefully.

"May, I really think you should…"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" May shouted at Ellie and flung her pillow at her, hitting her in the chest.

"Fine, go ahead and starve. At least it won't be my fault." Ellie said disgustedly and left May alone once again.

May began to sob quietly into her pillowless bed. None of them understood her, she thought. None of them had any clue what she was going through. Of course, she hadn't told any of them. But why should she. They had never cared about her. She had always been the Mallrat's charity case and after all these years, nothing had changed. She had always felt like the outsider, the black sheep. And now with the baby, things would only get worse. She would never forget the looks of shock and horror when she had finally had to break down and tell them that she was pregnant. They had all looked at her like she had grown two heads or something. Then they had asked who the father was…that was when the lies had started.

"May…Are you alright?" A soft, hesitant voice said from the doorway.

May turned her tear-streaked face to see Salene standing there looking down at her with a concerned and caring look on her face.

May's heart turned over.

"Um…Yeah…I'm fine." She managed to squeak out through the tears.

"Well you don't look fine…you look distressed. Why don't you come with me and we'll get you cleaned up and go on down and find you something to eat. I think that Ellie was cooking something up."

"Uh…Alright…I guess I could eat."

Salene helped May up then she retrieved a tissue from the dresser in the corner and helped May wipe the tears from her face. May was having a hard time looking Salene in the eye and she was desperately hoping that Salene would not notice. As Salene picked up a brush from the dresser and handed it to May their eyes met. 

"How are you really doing, May?" Salene said, using the encounter as an opportunity to try and pull May out of the shell she had encased herself in over the last few months.

May was having trouble fighting off the waves of emotion washing over her.

"Salene…" She said almost pleadingly, not really knowing what she was trying to say.

Then she felt the baby kick again, and looked away quickly.

The moment was gone; she brushed her hair out and applied a bit of make-up without looking at or speaking to Salene the entire time. At last she was ready to leave her room and go down to the café for lunch. Salene opened the door and May walked past her into the hallway and down the stairs…

May braced herself to face the others. It was never easy being around the other Mallrats these days. Today would be no different…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

As May entered the café she noticed that Slade, Jay, Jack, Ellie and Gel were all there eating already.

Slade and Jay looked deeply involved in conversation, probably over some city business; they were still trying to iron out some of the difficulties that had been created by Mega's death and Ram's super computer. Jay smiled at her as she passed him and Slade nodded in her general direction.

Jack stood to pull out a chair for her. "Hey May, glad to see you up and around."

"Thanks, Jack." May said, taking the seat he offered her.

"Well, didn't think we'd be seeing you down here today. Ellie said you threw…"

"GEL!" Ellie called out sharply. "Why don't you get May a bowl of soup."

Gel made a small sound of disgust. "Why should I, she's got two legs. She's pregnant, not crippled."

"GEL!" Ellie, Jack and Salene all cried together.

"Oh…Fine." Gel said, getting up and ladling Ellie's soup into a bowl and setting it on the table in front of May.

"Thanks, Gel." Said May politely, staring down into the soup bowl rather than up at Gel.

"No problem, don't trouble yourself." Gel said as she flounced back to her seat at the next table.

As May sat eating her soup she began to catch snatches of Slade and Jay's conversation.

"Ram and Lex are trying to get more information on that." Jay said softly.

"Yeah, but what are they really doing out there in Liberty? I was there with them for quite a while during the rebellion and it seemed that Lex did more work on the casino than anything else." Slade said in response.

"This time it's different Slade, they're not in exile, they're trying to help us."

"Yeah, but do we really need them out in Liberty. I think we need Ram back with us here, trying to get the computer system back up and running."

"Slade, the reason Ram is in Liberty is so he won't be tempted to build a super computer capable of taking over the city, remember, we've already had that experience. Besides, he's better off out there with Ruby to look after him."

Suddenly Gel broke loudly into their conversation, "I don't know why Lex has to be stationed out in Liberty anyway. Nothing ever happens out there, and he just picked up and left, without even saying goodbye, he could've said goodbye to me at least. I guess he was upset about the baby." She said looking accusingly at May. "He would've stayed if it hadn't been for you."

"GEL!" Everyone in the room yelled at once.

Salene had gotten to her feet ready to defend May at all costs. "Gel, I think you'd better go now."

"Well, it's true; if she hadn't slept with him and gotten pregnant then he would still be here with us, with me. It's all her fault."

"Right Gel, like she got pregnant all by herself, he had nothing to do with it."

"Well, it's not fair." Gel retorted childishly.

"Gel, I think you'd better go. I think Trudy needed some help watching Brady this afternoon."

"But…"

"Now, Gel." Salene said in her best upset mother tone.

Gel flounced away looking hurt and ill-used.

Salene turned to look at May. Jack had moved over next to her and had his arm around her shoulders. May was crying softly and looking down into her soup bowl.

"I'm sorry." Jay said to the room at large, "I think we'll take this discussion outside."

"Yeah, I think that would be good." Salene said to him and he and Slade walked out of the café.

Ellie came over and sat down next to Jack. "You know May, none of us feel that way."

"Yeah," Jack said in support, "We all know that it wasn't your fault Lex left, after all, Gel would have driven him away eventually."

May knew that Jack was trying to coax a laugh out of her, but just couldn't manage any response other than a weak sniffle and a few more tears.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Ruby's saloon was empty at this time of the afternoon. Ruby was wiping down the bar while Lottie sat at one of the tables and practiced writing her alphabet. Ram and Lex sat at their usual table nursing their drinks, deep in discussion.

"Are you sure, Lex? You actually heard this from a reliable source?" Ram queried for the third time in three minutes.

"Yes, I'm sure. They saw him, he's alive, that's what they said," answered Lex.

"Lex, people just don't come back from the dead," Ram said, shaking his head.

"Well we don't know that he was ever actually dead, do we. And then there's you and Amber who came back, and that whole Zoot thing, so I'm not putting any money on it being impossible," Lex countered.

"Well, we need to get this information back to the mall as soon as we can."

"Great, tell the others hi for me."

"Lex, I can't go back to the city. Techno's aren't exactly welcome there anymore, and after what happened with the computer after the rebellion, well, let's just say I'm public enemy #1."

"I suppose we could use some of the profits from the casino to pay one of the kids in town to do it."

"Lex, you don't really trust this information to a stranger do you? Besides, we have no guarantee that they would ever deliver the information to the Mallrats."

"Lottie could make the trip, she's been to the mall before."

"Lex," Ram rolled his eyes and glanced in Lottie's direction, "Lottie's ten, she's not even allowed to cross the street by herself."

"Oh come on, she's the best pickpocket in town…"

"Lex!" Ram said loudly, "You are going."

"No, I'm not!" Lex yelled back.

"Why not…oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. It's because you're scared of poor little May…Papa."

"Shut up, Ram!" Lex shouted, getting to his feet.

"Calm down, calm down...Look, you're the only one who can go back to the mall and deliver this information. Just think, you'll be a hero. They'll all forgive you, you know the Mallrats, all caring and stuff. And as for May, well she's probably not even at the mall anymore. And if she is, she's probably forgotten all about it."

"Forgot about being pregnant?" Lex said, looking at Ram like he'd gone crazy.

"No…" Ram rolled his eyes again, "Forgot about wanting you to take on any fatherly duties."

Lex was still looking at him disbelievingly. "Alright, look, Jack will be able to help us get the software I need to beef up our security at the casino; you know we've been having some problems lately with cheats. We're losing money on them, they've figured out a way to beat our system. We need to upgrade, keep them guessing. I'll make you a list of things I'll need and Jack can help you round them up. And while you're there, you can deliver the information to Jay. How's that sound?"

Lex looked thoughtful for a moment…"So just how much money are we losing?"

Since the rebellion the Mallrats had worked hard to rebuild the city and their dream. Jay, Amber and Slade supervised things and the others took shifts in different sectors of the city making sure that things were running smoothly. They all did there part, Jack ran the computer network that controlled the power and the water, Trudy and Ellie ran the hospital, Salene and Daryl ran the school and Ebony ran the police station. May stayed out of it all, she wasn't interested in what any of them were doing. As far as she was concerned, life was still chaos.

It was 2 pm, at last. Everyday she watched the clock, and everyday at 2 pm she snuck out of her room and down the hall. And then she was at Salene's door. Salene had the afternoon shift at the school; she left the mall at 2 pm everyday to teach her classes.

May listened at the door for a moment, to be certain that there was no one moving around inside, then slowly pushed the door open. She stood in the doorway a moment taking in the room. There was Pride's picture on the nightstand, but there was only a single bed now, hers had been moved down the hall months ago. Memories flooded back, this was where they had kissed, where she had told Salene that she loved her, where she had told her about Pride's last words, and where their relationship had ended.

May walked into the room and sat down on the bed. If only things hadn't gotten so out of control. If only she had made different choices, if she had told Salene the truth about Pride, made her understand how much she loved her and that they could make it work. If only she had been smarter, and not fallen for Mega's lies. If only she hadn't gotten pregnant…

That was always where her thoughts ended up…why was she pregnant…how could it have happened, how could she have let it happen.

She felt the baby kick again and a wave of nausea washed over her. She lay down on the bed clutching Salene's pillow to her chest. Soon tears began to flow again and she became lost in her misery, and in sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"May…May, wake up…May."

May reluctantly opened her eyes and for a moment, she thought she was still dreaming. Salene was there, standing over her, with a worried look on her face.

"May are you alright? We've been looking everywhere for you. You weren't in your room. What are you doing in here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, but you weren't here…I wasn't feeling well, I guess I fell asleep." May lied easily; covering up the real reason she was in Salene's room. It was because this was where she wanted to be, the only place where she had ever felt safe and loved.

"But you're alright?" Salene queried again with that worried look still on her face.

"Oh yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

Salene looked at her for a moment as if she was going over all the reasons in her head why May wouldn't be alright. She realized suddenly that for the first time in many months she was actually looking at May, really seeing her, without walls or defenses. There was something in her eyes, something that worried Salene. Slowly, she reached her hand out towards May. But May turned quickly away from her and stood up.

"I'm fine, Salene. What time is it?"

"It's nearly 8 o'clock." Salene said shakily, trying to recover from the moment of insight she had just had. "Dinner's over, but if you're hungry I can get you something to eat. Why don't you come downstairs? Trudy and Amber wanted to talk to you about something."

"Me…What would they want to talk to me about."

"You want to start a what," May asked the two of them for the second time, while staring fixedly at the floor.

"We want to start a nursery school, you know, like a day care for mothers with small children." Trudy said patiently.

"And what does this have to do with me again?"

"We thought that you could help us," Trudy answered calmly. Amber meanwhile was beginning to look frustrated. This was the second time that they had gone over the same information.

"Why would you think that?" May asked.

That was it, Amber had heard enough. "Because May," she began, a little louder than was necessary, and with that touch of authority that she usually used to issue orders, "You've got to do something. This isn't good, it isn't healthy. For the last few months you haven't done any work, you haven't helped at all, you don't come out of your room. You barely eat. You can't keep going on like this."

May just sat, staring at her feet looking like she was close to tears.

Trudy was giving Amber a look that told her she thought she had gone too far. At Amber's pause Trudy jumped in to try and smooth things out. "May, what Amber means is that the baby's going to be coming soon and we thought that being around the kids might give you an opportunity to learn a bit. And the work would give you something to look forward to, to take your mind off of your problems. Isn't that what you meant Amber?"

"Sure," Amber said, rolling her eyes, "that's what I meant."

May still sat there, thoughts and memories swirled through her mind…the tribe turning against her, locking her up, kicking her out. A tear ran down her cheek and she found her voice. "You don't have to tell me what you meant, I know. You think I'm worthless, a cheat, a liar, a spy…I'm a bad person and I'll be a bad mother, isn't that what your trying to say Amber?" She looked up at Amber for the first time since she had sat down.

Amber stared back for a moment shocked that May, who had barely spoken a word for the last few months, had reacted so badly to such an innocent suggestion.

"No May, I never said…"

"You didn't have to," May cut her off. "I know how you feel, how you all feel. Maybe I should just leave." With that she got up and walked out of the café.

Trudy and Amber followed close behind, "No May, Stop. We just need to talk about this," Amber was saying, but May had reached the entrance hall. There she had stopped and was staring transfixed at the door.

And there was Lex.

"Lex, what are you doing here," Amber said catching sight of him.

He was staring hard at May, as if he could not look away from her if he wanted to.

"Lex?" Amber prompted again.

Still staring at May he said the first words that came into his head, "Daddy's home," and May crumpled to the floor in a faint.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"Lex, how could you be so insensitive, I can't believe you." Amber said, shaking her head. She had been berating him for the better part of an hour and seemed to show little sign of slowing down soon. "How could you say that to her? What ever possessed you?"

"Hey, what was I supposed to say, there she was, just standing there, staring at me."

"Oh, I don't know. How about Hello May, How are you, or how about answering my question, which was what are you doing here." Amber continued loudly.

"Well, how was I to know she was going to faint, May's one of the toughest people I know, she can take anything."

"That was before Lex," Trudy said softly, "She's different now, more fragile."

"What does that mean…Is she sick, is the baby ok?" Lex said, looking at Trudy confusedly.

"No Lex, she's not sick, just depressed…very depressed."

"Is that all? She'll get over it." Lex answered callously.

"No Lex, she won't just get over it." Trudy said firmly and gave him a hard look.

"She's getting worse Lex." Amber shook her head as she spoke, "She doesn't come down to eat with us anymore. She's always up in her room crying. We don't know what to do for her. We're trying to get her involved. But when Trudy and I asked her to help us with something just now, she threatened to leave the mall. She was on her way out when she ran into you."

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing that she ran into me then. She'd never make it on her own out there like that," said Lex.

"We could have stopped her," Amber said to Lex, trying to take Lex's ego down a rung or two.

As Lex eyed Amber, Ellie and Salene came out of May's room and joined them.

"Well, it looks like she's alright. She just needs to get something in her stomach and rest for awhile." Ellie said to them.

"I wish Patch was here," Said Trudy sadly.

"We all do Trudy, but we're trying to find him, I've sent out messages to all the surrounding Tribes. We'll get word soon, I'm sure." Amber said, trying to sound like she believed it.

"Well, it's not easy to run a hospital with no doctor," said Ellie wearily.

"But what about May?" Lex said loudly, "Why did she faint?"

"Probably the shock of seeing you," Salene said, giving Lex a harsh look.

"Are you saying I'm not welcome here Salene."

"Welcome…welcome…" Salene looked at him as if he were a bug, her voice slightly raised, "as far as I'm concerned Lex, you've never been welcome here, you're just like a stray dog we can't seem to get rid of."

Lex stood up and took a step toward Salene, a dangerous look on his face.

"Enough you two!" Amber said in her most intimidating manner.

Trudy added in her motherly tone, "This is no time for fighting amongst ourselves. May is in trouble and we need to be thinking about her."

"I'm going to go warm up some soup and see if I can get her to eat." Ellie said helpfully, heading off toward the kitchen.

"I'll go and get some sleeping pills from the medicine chest." Salene said, turning her back on Lex.

"I'd better go check on the kids and make sure they're alright," said Trudy, starting off down the stairs.

Amber started to walk away from Lex, then remembering his sudden appearance in the mall, she turned around, looked him directly in the eye and said seriously, "Lex, what are you doing here?"

Lex stared back at her defiantly for a moment then said "Casino business, I need some computer software from Jack."

The mall was silent and dark; all of the others were asleep. Lex stood outside May's room in the darkness, staring hard at the door. He had been here for what seemed like hours, trying to decide how he felt about May, the baby, the future. What he had decided was that he just didn't know.

He had never thought about May like that, had never seen her as someone that he could have a relationship with. Sure, they had slept together a couple of times. But there had never been anything serious between them; neither of them had wanted that.

And now they were going to have a baby…what did that mean to him? He had always wanted a child. Not that he thought he would be a good father; he would probably be lousy at it, just like his father had been. But he had never been able to stop thinking about what he had lost when Zandra had died. She had been pregnant too, but that had been different, they had loved each other, hadn't they…

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. There was too much to think about, too much to try and fix, but it all came down to one thing…the baby.

Lex walked towards the door and turned the handle. And there he was in May's room, standing over the bed. Looking down at her, he could tell she was obviously several months along. Since he had left the night of her announcement, he had never seen the truth of her words, never had the proof that she was carrying his child staring him in the face. Without conscious thought his hand moved to cover May's extended belly. He felt a small kick on his hand and a knot formed inside his chest. His child…he had just felt his child kick for the first time. He stared in wonder at the place where his hand rested. A baby…a son…to replace the one that he lost…the one that he almost had with Zandra.

His gaze moved over May's sleeping form to her face. Her makeup was run with tears and her skin was deathly pale. It was like Trudy had said, she looked fragile. Lex felt a strange need to protect her, to help her, to help the baby…his baby. With that thought he lay down beside May and pulled her sleeping form into his arms…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

May nestled farther down into the warmth of Salene's embrace…she felt her breath on her hair, her skin beneath her hand, she felt safe, loved, home. As she opened her eyes to see if her dream was indeed real, she was met with one of the worst surprises of her life.

"What the Hell!" She pushed Lex away harshly, while trying to get out of bed as quickly as possible.

Lex was looking around confusedly trying to find the source of all of the commotion…at last his gaze rested on May. She had managed to untangle herself from the bed clothes, and Lex's embrace and was standing by the window looking like a wild woman.

"GET OUT!" She screamed at Lex at the top of her voice.

"May, calm down, you don't need to get so excited…it's just me."

"GET OUT!" She screamed again.

"May, calm down. I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought that maybe we could talk."

"Talk…" May said incredulously, "Is that what you thought we were going to do when you climbed into my bed. What would we have to talk about anyway."

"Us."

"Us?" May said, her voice a little higher than usual. "There is no us Lex. We had sex, we do not have a relationship."

"But we have a child."

"Not yet we don't."

"What is that supposed to mean, May? You wouldn't hurt yourself…hurt the baby, would you?"

"That's really none of your business is it Lex."

"It's my baby, that makes it my business."

May flinched as though Lex had struck her.

"Get out Lex." She said again, quietly and with an air of finality.

Lex was looking at her strangely, as if he expected her to jump out the window at that very moment. Reluctantly he turned and left the room, pausing in the doorway to look back at May again. She had closed her eyes and was hugging herself tightly, tears streaming down her face. As he closed the door behind him, it occurred to him that this was not the May he thought he knew…and if she wanted to hurt herself or his baby it was going to be up to him to stop her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Over the next few days May rarely left her room. She tried to avoid contact with the other Mallrats as much as possible, but there was always Lex. He brought her meals and then stayed to make sure that she ate a decent amount. He camped outside her door in a folding chair that he stole from café. If she made the slightest noise or sound, he would run in to be certain that she was alright. She wasn't altogether sure if he ever truly left her alone, even to sleep…she had a strong suspicion that folding chair was getting more use than his bed was.

In short, Lex was driving her mad. She wanted nothing more than for him to be back in Liberty and out of her life. May's had thought that her life was complicated when Lex was away, but now that Lex was back her world was absolute chaos…there seemed to be no way out. At least while she was staying at the mall. She had to get out, somehow…

A noise stirred her from her thoughts and she looked up to find Salene standing in the doorway. "May, Amber and Trudy and I are going down to the Nursery School today, we thought maybe you could join us."

"I don't think so, Salene. Kids really aren't my thing." May answered without really thinking.

"Yeah," a voice spoke from out in the hall, "She needs to stay here and get her rest. Going down there and looking after all those brats would only upset her." Lex said matter of factly.

"And what would you know about upsetting her, Lex," Salene said defensively.

"Oh, I don't know, I seem to be the one seeing that she's taken care of around here lately."

"Lex…" Salene began angrily.

"Stop, stop…" May said over the two of them, "I think I will go with you Salene, at least it will get me out of here." May said, walking past Lex without a backward glance.

May spent the next three hours sitting in a corner of the little makeshift nursery, trying to avoid the slobbering babies and annoying toddlers as much as possible. She was beginning to get a headache and her back hurt. She wanted nothing more than to be back in her room. How much more of this she had to endure, she wasn't sure, but she was certain that she would not be coming back here everyday to watch these whiney little…

"May" Amber's cry interrupted May's thoughts. As May looked up she saw Amber coming towards her with a sleeping Baby Bray in her arms. May panicked, she began to look around her for a way out, but none seemed close enough at hand. Amber was upon her before she knew it. "May, Little Bray's fallen asleep, can you hold him for a bit while I help Trudy with the others. Their parents should be coming soon, and I want to talk to some of them.

"Ummm….Ok….I guess….Maybe I could….For just a little…." At that point Amber lay the sleeping baby into her arms, adjusted the blanket lovingly around her son, and sped off towards Trudy and the other arriving parents.

May held the baby awkwardly and stared down at him as if he was an alien species. Suddenly Salene was there at her side.

"Isn't he a darling little angel?" Salene said lovingly, softly stroking the sleeping baby's cheek.

"Ummm…yeah." Said May, obviously unconvinced. "Do you think you could take him for a bit, my back is aching terribly."

"Sure." Salene said graciously taking the sleeping baby into her arms. She handled the baby like a pro. Even though she had never truly been a mother, Salene was a natural. She was the mom at the mall and everyone knew it. May always thought it was strange how all the children in the mall were just naturally attracted to Salene and recognized her as a mother figure. May sat and stared at Salene for a long time. Watching her with the baby like this, it was easy to imagine Salene and her own unborn baby bonding in this very manner. But where was May in the picture?

At last Amber and Trudy were ready to leave and they set off on their journey back to the mall. It seemed strange that they could walk the city streets without fear now. For so long the city had been a place of war and rebellion…Now the Tribes were at peace and four women and two children could easily make their way across town unharmed.

As the group rounded the last corner that led to the mall, a dark figure caught May's eyes. For a brief moment she had a clear vision of him, he looked in her direction, then turned and hurried on. May closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them he was gone. "May, are you alright?" Trudy said concernedly, looking back at her.

"Did you see him?" May asked.

"Who May?"

"I just thought I saw…"

May's words were cut short by a horrendous noise…The women all fell to the ground, covering their heads. Amber and Trudy shielded their children as debris from the explosion fell around them.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

The Mallrats sat huddled in the café in stunned silence. Ellie was tending to the scrapes and cuts that May, Amber, Salene and Trudy had received in the explosion. The children had thankfully escaped without harm. May held a cloth to her bleeding arm and slowly looked around the room.

Jay sat with his arms around Amber while she clutched Baby Bray to her chest. Trudy was juggling an ice pack she was holding on her wrist and Brady who was sitting on her lap. Ellie was standing over Salene cleaning a nasty cut on her forehead. May looked to her left and saw that Lex had moved to stand beside her. Slade and Ebony sat together to one side. Ebony had her head in her hands and Slade was shaking his head.

"I just don't understand it," he said, "I thought we were through with all of this. I thought the tribes were at peace."

"We'll never be at peace," Ebony said bitterly.

"We were very lucky that it wasn't a bigger explosion," Jay added, "It could have been much worse. The girls could've been killed, the children could've been hurt, the mall could've been destroyed. We were very lucky."

"I just don't understand who would have done something like this," Amber said, shaking her head, "We just had a meeting of the Inter-Tribe Council last week and everything was fine. Who could hate us so much that they would try and hurt our children?"

"I have an idea," May said quietly, "I thought I saw Mega, just before the explosion."

"That's impossible, May. He's dead," said Jay.

"But he looked at me, I saw his face. It had to be him."

"May, Josh died in my arms. I watched him take his last breath. Besides, if my brother were alive, I'd know it."

"Are you so sure about that," Lex said to Slade.

All eyes in the room were now focused on Lex.

"What do you mean, Lex," Jay asked.

"That's why I'm here," Lex announced to the stunned Mallrats, "Mega's alive."

All around the room people gasped, jaws dropped and heads shook in disbelief. Beside Lex, May struggled with her emotions; tears welled up in her eyes. She turned and looked at Lex, as their eyes met she felt the baby kick, and then the tears began to flow.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"What did you say Lex?" Amber said a little too loudly into the stunned silence, setting the baby in arms into a fit of whimpers.

May focused her eyes on the floor and tried to hide the tears that were now freely falling from her eyes while Lex looked up at Amber with a look of pure defiance on his face.

"I said that Mega is alive." He said again slowly, as if he were speaking to a child.

"Why couldn't you have told us that before?" Amber yelled again as little Bray's cries began to fill the room. Amber handed her child over to Ellie and stood up to face Lex.

"All this time you've been here, you've known that this was coming and you didn't tell anyone! You just let us think that he was dead, that the tribes were at peace, and didn't say anything! And now Mega's got the upper hand! He's planted a bomb right outside the mall, any of us could have been killed, and you've known all along!"

Jay stood and placed a hand on Amber's arm, "Amber calm down, this isn't Lex's fault."

"Of course it's his fault! This all could've been avoided if Lex has just told us to begin with why he was here, instead of playing dumb and waiting for something to happen before he told us."

"Hey, I could've stayed in Liberty you know, it's not like I had to come back here to tell you anything." Lex said in his defense.

"Amber," Jay tried again to calm her, this time stepping between her and Lex. "This is not the time to be fighting amongst ourselves. If Mega's back then our enemy is out there, not in here. Everyone's fine, your baby's fine."

"How can you defend him Jay?" Amber turned her frustration to the standing in front of her. "We could've all been killed."

"It's not his fault, Amber. It's Mega's."

"That's enough!" roared Slade from his seat beside Ebony. "Mega is my brother, and if he is alive, then he's my responsibility. We don't know yet if he planted the bomb or not, but he's innocent until proven guilty. Josh had changed; he gave his life for us, why would he want to hurt us now?"

As they all looked at Slade and tried to think of some kind of explanation to offer him for his brother's untimely return, Sammy, Jack and Darryl entered the café.

"What's going on?" queried Jack, at the sight of the soot covered girls and the looks of shock and confusion around the room.

As the Mallrats began to explain the events of the last hour to the others, May slipped quietly away to her room.

Throughout the heated discussion between Amber and Lex, Salene had sat quietly watching May. There was something about her reaction that touched a place within Salene. Why wasn't May shocked, worried, fearful or confused like the others? Instead she seemed sad, resigned and tearful. This seemed to go unnoticed by the others, but to Salene, who seemed to be watching May more and more lately, there was definitely something wrong. May either found something on the floor extremely interesting, or she was trying to hide her reaction and her emotions from the other Mallrats. As she watched May leave the room something pulled at Salene, telling her to go upstairs, to check on May, to comfort her…

But no, she couldn't do that. She couldn't get to close to May, not after what had passed between them a few short months ago. But things had changed since then, hadn't they? May had changed since then. There was something between them now that hadn't been there before. A caring, a friendship, that Salene felt more strongly with May than with any of the other Mallrats. Instinctively Salene knew that if she didn't watch out for May, if she didn't take care of her, then no one else would.

A short time later when Trudy and Amber took a break from the heavy discussion of Mega to put their children to bed, Salene excused herself from the group and made her way up the stairs.

Salene stood for a moment outside of May's door trying to decide whether to disturb her or not. As the quiet sobs coming from within reached her ears, she found herself opening the door without conscious thought. She was across the room and kneeling beside the bed before she knew it.

May was curled in the middle of the bed, her arms wrapped around her middle, with tears streaming down her face. She stared up at Salene with wide eyes filled with anguish.

Salene reached out a hand to brush a tendril of hair back from May's face, and for the first time in months May didn't pull away from her.

"May, what's wrong?" Salene asked quietly and calmly.

"I don't know what to do Salene," May spoke softly, "I've lied to you, to Lex, to everyone." Her voice faded into sobs once more.

"It's alright May, you haven't done anything wrong. Everything will be fine, we'll get through this together, I'll help you." Salene offered comfortingly.

May looked up at her pleadingly, "Help me, Salene," she said through the tears, "Hold me…Please."

Salene looked at her stricken friend and wanted to help her in any way she could. Without worrying about past hurts or unwanted feelings she climbed onto the bed and gathered May into her arms. As they lay there in the darkness, May's head upon her chest, Salene's arm around her waist, the sobs began subside. Soon they were both lost in peaceful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

_May crept down the stairs as quietly as possible. She didn't want anyone to know that she was going down to the cage. They had never really trusted her after they caught her spying and there was no need to give them a reason to throw her out again. _

"Who's there?" He called out.

"Shhhh…Mega, it's me, May." She whispered in response.  
Mega watched her approach the cage from his place on the floor and made no move to rise at her approach.

"What are you doing here; I thought you were a respected Mallrat again? You wouldn't want them to catch you down here consorting with the enemy, would you?" He said in his usual cold, sarcastic manner.

"Most of them are at the hotel with Ram. There's some kind of problem with the computer apparently."

"Yes, there is…They were down here earlier interrogating me about it. They want my help of course. Ha! That's funny isn't it? They rebel against the Technos take the city back by force, and then they want my help with things go wrong."

"Are you going to help them, Mega," May asked softly.

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet." He said coolly, then at last he rose from his place on the floor and came toward her. He wrapped his hands around hers on the bars of the cage and looked her in the eye, then asked her softly, "What do you think I should do?"

May gave him a strange, searching look. This didn't sound like Mega. Was he playing her again? Deciding that she would go along with the conversation and trust him for now she replied softly, "I think you should help them. They may not appreciate you now, but maybe they will if you do this. Maybe they'll let you out of here, let you go your own way. Maybe I could come with you."

Mega looked down at her. No emotion visible on his face. "Yes, but it could be dangerous going up against Ram's computer. I might not come out of it."

"Of course you will," May said quickly, "You're the leader of the Technos aren't you. You're a genius with computers, even better than Ram."

"May, if something should happen to me will you do something for me?" He said in that same, cold, precise, Techno manner of his.

May looked up into his eyes and thought of the Mallrats, they weren't her friends. Mega had promised to be her friend, hadn't he? But he had lied to her, played her, manipulated her not just into spying for him, but into his bed as well. She had trusted him, slept with him. Now what would she do? Help the man who had betrayed them all…Right now, looking up into his face through the bars of the cage it seemed the best choice.

Seeing the answer in her eyes, Mega didn't wait for her answer, "I don't want to die a prisoner, May. I don't want to die as Josh. I'm Mega now, the leader of the Technos, not Slade's little baby brother. I don't want the Mallrats to bury me or Slade to cry at my grave about how he could've saved me if he hadn't left all those years ago. It's over and done. I want to die a Techno and be mourned by my own tribe, the people who look up to me and respect me," Mega took a breath and continued, "If I should die May, press this button on my wristband. This will send a signal to the remaining Technos. They'll come and take my body and give me a proper Techno send off. Will you do this for me May?"

"Yes, Mega, I'll do it."

"Josh!" Slade called out on his way down the stairs.

"Go…" Mega said urgently to May and gave her hand a final squeeze. May turned away from the cage quickly and ran to hide behind a nearby crate. She watched as Slade, Amber and Jay opened the cage and dragged Mega away. What would happen now? Would he die as he feared? She had to get to the hotel as quickly as possible.

As she ran down through the city streets toward the hotel she thought of all the time she had spent with Mega. She wasn't stupid; she knew he couldn't be trusted. She knew he had lied to her about so many things. He had used her and then discarded her, and now he was using her again. But this was different…this was death.

As she entered Ram's control room she saw him, slumped in the chair, gone…Slade was weeping, the others looked on in respectful silence. Ebony appeared at Slade's side and pulled him into a tearful embrace. May took this opportunity to approach him. His eyes were closed behind the frames of his glasses. His face looked worn and haunted, as if he'd just fought a most tiring battle and lost. She touched his hand, it was still warm, but he had not been dead long. Before the others could observe what she was doing she pressed the button on his wristband...

May awoke in Salene's arms crying anew at what she had done. She had helped him, aided in his escape. She was the reason that he wasn't dead…and then there was the baby…a strangled sob tore from her throat.

Salene awake next to her, "May, what's wrong? Honey are you ok?"

May was too distraught to talk; she sat up in bed, reliving the explosion, seeing Mega on the street, looking into those cold, emotionless, Techno eyes.

"It's ok May," Salene said soothingly, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her lightly on the forehead.

As her sobs quieted May began to realize who was holding her, and kissing her. In her distressed state she forgot about their past and their restrictions and thought only of the moment and her need. As she raised her lips to Salene's the other girl made no move to pull way. Whether this was because Salene was also lost in the moment or because she did not know what was about to happen, May did not know. As their lips met, a strong feeling of rightness came over May. This was how it was supposed to be between them. The baby kicked in her belly and she deepened the kiss. Salene did not protest, or pull away, but raised her hand to touch May's face.

"What the Hell!" came a loud cry from the doorway.

Startled, the two girls broke apart quickly and turned to stare in surprise at a furious Lex.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

"Lex, this isn't what it looks like," Salene began quickly.

"It looks like you two were getting it on. Are you two lovers?" he asked Salene angrily.

"No!" Salene answered strongly.

May turned from the scene and looked down at the covers. After she and Salene had shared such intimacy she could not bear to watch this total denial of the situation.

"This is ridiculous. I can't believe you, May. You're about to have my baby and here you are in bed with someone else. And suddenly you're gay. How does that happen?" Lex continued furiously.

"She's not gay," Salene returned defensively.

"Then what the hell was that kiss about?" Lex shouted at Salene.

"Enough, both of you, please," May finally spoke from her place on the bed.

Lex rolled his eyes and shot her an angry look. "I'm through with this anyway, forget about us, it's over."

"Lex," May said disgustedly, "There was never any us."

"Just don't forget, that's my baby, and I intend to be in his life. I don't care who you sleep with, just remember that I'm the father." With that profound announcement, Lex turned and left the room. May buried her face in her hands as the tears began to flow again.

"Well, that didn't go too well," Salene said, stating the obvious.

"No, it didn't." May agreed, not looking up.

"Oh, my god," Salene said suddenly, "He's going to tell everyone. I've got to stop him." Jumping up she ran from the room, leaving May alone once again.

Salene ran down the hall after Lex, desperate to stop him. The others couldn't know. It didn't mean anything. She had just been going along with May, like before, hadn't she?

There he was, at the top of the stairs. "Lex, wait…Stop, please!" she called out to him. Lex halted at the top of the stairs, "What!" he called back angrily.

"Lex, you can't tell the others. Please. Honestly that was not what it looked like, I was just…just…"

"Kissing your lover." Lex provided helpfully.

"No!"

"You're in denial Salene, that kiss was not platonic. I should know, I have experience in these things. And that was one hot kiss."

Her hand cracked along the side of his face before she even realized she what she was doing.

"Owww!" Lex howled, "You hit me!"

"We are not lovers!" Salene shouted at the top of her lungs, "I am not gay. I was in love with Pride and Ryan, how could I have those feelings toward them if I was gay."

"Hey, there's always bi." Lex pointed out to her.

As she raised her hand to slap him again, a noise caught her attention. A look of complete horror crossed her face as she turned to see the rest of her tribe gathered at the foot of the stairs staring up at her and Lex.

"Hi everybody," Lex said, looking toward the group and rubbing his reddened cheek, "Does anyone have any ice, this hurts like hell,"

Salene let out a little sob and fled towards her room, her face in her hands.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

May had witnessed the horrible scene in the hallway, though neither Lex nor Salene knew it. They had been too wrapped up in their own argument to notice her standing quietly behind them. The depth of Salene's denial had stunned and hurt May. The kiss that they had shared earlier had given her hope. Perhaps someday soon they could be together, but not now. Not after what she had heard tonight. After Salene fled to her room, and Lex went down to the café to join the others, May quietly made her way up to the roof.

As she sat looking down on the city that she had called home for so long she wondered whether or not the long battle to keep the dream alive was really worth it. First Zoot and Ebony, then the Guardian, then Ram and Mega, each one wanted the city for themselves. Each one was willing to battle the Mallrats for the right to rule. But May didn't care who ruled the city. She had never understood the Mallrats quest for control, for order, for peace. She was a survivor. Before she had become a Mallrat she had been alright. She hadn't needed to battle and scheme and spy. She had simply done what was necessary to survive. And now look what she had been reduced to. Sitting on a roof, pondering how her life had come to this.

For the millionth time she began to count the months since she had discovered her condition. One…Two…Three…she counted on her fingers, Four…Five…Six…she began on her second hand…Seven…Eight…she paused in her count and thought back. How long had it been really? How far along was she? It had been six months since Lex had left for Liberty, she was sure of that, six months since she had told the Mallrats that she was pregnant. But before that, she wasn't sure…seven months, she thought, since Mega's defeat, eight since she had been allowed back into the mall…Nine…oh no…was it nine months since she had been with him…nine months since she had become pregnant.

A shadow moved below her. Startled from her thoughts she got to her feet and strained her eyes to see into the darkness below. "Who's there?" She called down. There was no answer.

She was being silly, she thought. The shock of her recent realization and the bombing was making her a bit skittish. It was probably just one of Jay's guards.

In the shadows below he stood silently…watching. May, it was May…he had only caught a glimpse of her earlier, and now with the darkness and the distance between them, his view was not much improved. But as he stood there gazing at her form in the moonlight, she turned to the side for a moment. Then, silhouetted against the moonlit sky, her profile clearly showed that she was pregnant.

For a moment his thoughts scattered. Uncharacteristically, he found himself unable to focus on his plan. May was pregnant…Was it his? Could it be? How far along was she?

"No…" he whispered softly to himself, "this changes nothing. She's only a Mallrat, a vert, a pawn. It's not mine anyway, it can't be."

But what if it was his…what then? Was he willing to destroy his own child?

Of course he was. He would do anything to gain control and restore order, to have his revenge on Ram and the Mallrats. He was willing to destroy his own brother, he could do the same to May and whoever's child she carried. She was nothing to him.

Suddenly, he felt as though he had seen enough of the mall for one night. He was weary and tired and needed to rest and gather his thoughts. He stepped from his hiding place and made his way down the alleyway to the street. A feeling that he was being watched overcame him and he turned and looked up into the night toward the roof of the mall. May was there, looking down on him. Their eyes locked. Chills raced down his spine as he stood rooted to the spot, staring across the distance at her. She raised her hand in a small waive while she lay the other over the spot where her unborn child rested.

Gripped by a peculiar emotion that he hadn't allowed himself to experience since childhood, Mega suddenly felt the need to get away, fast. He turned abruptly and began to run from the mall without looking back at the lonely figure on the rooftop.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

As the Mallrats gathered in the café the next morning two of their members were conspicuously absent. Salene and May had not come down to breakfast and none of the others were brave enough to go up and get them. The younger members sat gossiping about what had occurred between Lex and Salene on the stairs, while the older mallrats tried to ignore the situation and focus on other matters, like Mega.

"We need to think about security. Mega's already attacked the mall once, he will try again." Jay said.

"We should think about putting guards around the hotel," Jack added, "If Mega gets his hands on any of that computer equipment it could be bad for us."

"That's the understatement of the year," Lex put in helpfully.

"Good idea, Jack." Jay answered, ignoring Lex's comment. "I'll arrange to have guards at all the entrances to the hotel as soon as possible."

"I'll round up some of my police force and post them around the mall," Ebony joined in.

"I'll put together an announcement that we can air on Citynet," Amber said, "The people need to be aware that Mega is back. Maybe they can help us find him."

"Good thinking Amber," Jay said.

"Oh yeah, cause a public service announcement is just what we need." Lex said sarcastically.

"Shut up, Lex," Trudy said, giving him a stern look.

"I don't see you jumping up to help, Lex." Amber said angrily.

"I don't see you coming up with any brilliant ideas, Amber." Lex returned.

"Stop it!" Slade shouted. "We need to find Josh! Soon! And none of you are helping very much at the moment."

May awoke in horrible pain. Oh, God…This was it, and she was alone, no one was here to help her. She had to get to Salene.

As the pain subsided she climbed carefully out of bed and made her way out into the hallway. Though it was morning, the mall seemed empty; she supposed the others were gathered down in the café for breakfast. She desperately hoped that Salene was not with them. Slowly she made her way to Salene's door. Even as she knocked on the door she was gripped by another contraction. As she cried out from the pain and clutched her middle Salene opened the door.

"May!" Salene cried, "What's wrong, are you ok?"

"Salene," May answered through gritted teeth. "It's coming…..the baby's coming."

"Oh God! May, you need to lie down; let me help you." Salene said, slipping an arm under May and helping her into her room and onto her bed.

"Salene," May cried, tears coming to her eyes, "I'm not ready for this, this can't be happening."

"I'm sorry May, but it looks like it is. Don't worry, everything will be fine." Salene said in her most motherly tone. "I've got to go get some supplies, I'll be right back. You'll be fine, alright. Don't worry."

"Don't leave me alone, Salene, please."

"I'll be right back, honey, it's alright. You'll be fine." Salene said touching her lips tenderly to May's forehead.

As she left the room she heard a sob escape May's lips as another contraction came upon her.

Salene ran into the café, taking no notice of the other Mallrats gathered around the tables.

"Well, didn't think we'd be seeing you down here this morning," said Gel.

"What," Salene said confusedly looking back at her.

"I said…" Gel began.

"I don't have time for this Gel, May's having the baby. Put some water on to boil, make yourself useful." Salene said sharply.

"What?" Amber said coming to stand beside Salene, "Did you say she's having the baby?"

"Yes," Salene answered while opening cupboards and gathering clean towels. "She just came to my room a few minutes ago, she's having contractions, they seem pretty close together."

"But it can't be," said Trudy worriedly, "She's not far enough along."

"Well you can go look for yourself, she's up in my room right now." Salene said defensively.

"I didn't mean…Salene, I'll just go put Brady down for her nap and I'll be right up to help, alright."

"Alright, I'm sorry Trudy; I'm just a bit…worried."

"We know Salene," said Amber, "But you're not alone, we're all here to help. I'll just go on up and see what I can do."

"Thanks Amber," Salene said, looking relieved.

"What can I do?" asked Jay.

"Find some scissors, or a sharp knife, and sterilize them. We'll need them to cut the cord." Salene answered.

Jay did as she asked and the others began to get up and move around, looking for some way to help the situation. As Salene began to make her way back up the stairs the mall suddenly went dark.

"Jack, what happened?" Jay called from the base of the stairs.

"Looks like the electricity went out." Jack answered.

"Oh boy, I could've figured that one out, didn't need a computer geek to tell me that." Lex said rolling his eyes at the top of the stairs.

"We'd better get over to the hotel; Mega could be sabotaging our systems." Jay said.

"Right." Jack agreed, handing his handful of clean towels off to Lex. "It's all yours, good luck, papa."

"Hey, wait…You can't leave me here…with this…I can't." Lex stuttered to Jack, Jay and Slade's retreating backs.

"It's alright Lex," Trudy said, coming up the stairs behind Salene, "You won't have to do a thing. May's going to be doing all the hard work, and Amber, Salene and I will do the rest."

"Right, good." Lex said, stepping into the room as May let out an earsplitting cry.

"Lex, hand me a towel, I think I can see the baby's head," said Amber.

But with the sight that greeted him, Lex turned and headed for the door. "I'm outta here."

"But Lex, this is your child! Get back here!" Trudy called to him.

"No way!" He shouted on his way down the stairs.

"Here it comes…towels please! Push May, push!" cried Amber.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"Looks like he's hacked into the main frame and shut the systems down," Jack said to the group that had gathered in the hotel's control room.

"Can you fix it?" asked Jay.

"Oh yeah, I can fix it," said Jack, "the problem is, he's broken down the main firewall and it'll take me a bit to repair it."

"What are you saying Jack," Slade asked.

"I'm saying that Mega can do whatever he wants with our computer system until I get that fixed…Having Ram here would really help speed things up."

"Oh yeah, just what we need, another Techno," Lex returned harshly.

"Lex, Ram really knows his stuff, and besides he's changed, he's one of us now. He helped us defeat Mega before; he knows how to beat him at his own game. We need him here." Jack argued.

"I agree with Jack," Jay said, "We need to get Ram back here. The question is how."

"I'll go," Slade answered.

"You can't go," said Jay, "You may be able to help us locate Mega."

"No, I'm the one that's least needed here," Slade replied. "Lex can't go because of May and the baby, Jack's needed here working on the computer system and you can't be spared. So I'll go. I know my way to and from Liberty pretty well. I'll be back before you know it."

"Alright then," Jay agreed, "I'll have my men gather some supplies for you."

"Thanks Jay, but I'll be fine. I've never needed any help before. It's a short trip, whatever I need I'll grab on the way. I'll leave immediately." With that announcement Slade said his goodbye's then turned and left the hotel. As he turned toward Liberty a movement to his left caught his eye. As he turned to look, he thought he caught sight of a black lycra Techno uniform.

"Josh!" Slade called out. "Josh…are you there?"

But there was no answer.

"One last push May…" Amber yelled.

Sweaty, exhausted and in the worst pain of her life, May struggled to do as Amber said.

"Come on May, you can do it," Salene urged, "I know you can," she added gripping her hand tightly and wiping a soggy strand of red hair from May's eyes.

"Salene, I can't. Make it stop…I don't want this," May sobbed.

"It's alright honey, just keep trying, I know it's hard but it's almost over. One last push," Salene encouraged as best she could, a tear sliding down her own cheek at the sight of May in such terrible pain.

"Please Salene…I never wanted to have this baby…I can't do this anymore…"

"Stop it May!" Amber yelled as loud as she could, "I need you to focus, we need one more push. The baby is almost out."

"No…" May sobbed.

"MAY!" Amber screamed again, "Push Now…I don't care how much you don't want this to happen, It's happening, and if you want to live, if you want your baby to live, you will do as I say!"

Salene squeezed May's hand then leaned over and gently touched her lips to her forehead, "Come on May, push one last time. We can't lose you, not now, not like this."

With every ounce of strength she had left May pushed one last time. "That's it, I've got him. It's a boy!" Amber announced. At last it was over.

Salene smiled down on her friend, "It's over May, you did it, it's a boy."

"Salene…" May managed to whisper softly, before she lost consciousness.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

"Are you sure she's alright?" Salene asked for the hundredth time since May has lost consciousness.

"There's no way we can be absolutely sure, Salene, but everything appears to be alright. She's just tired and worn out from the labor," Trudy answered, "You need to rest too, Sal, you've had a rough night as well."

"No, I'm fine. I want to stay here with them," Salene said going over to stand over the makeshift crib they had placed the tiny baby in. "He needs someone to watch over him, and so does she…" she said turning back to look at May, lying pale and still in the bed.

"Alright then," responded Trudy wisely, "You just make sure you call us if you need to. Ellie, Amber and I will be close by."

"Thanks Trudy, I really do appreciate all you guys did for May. You were wonderful; I don't think I could have done it alone."

"You don't have to, we're family. We help each other, that's what we're here for."

As Salene felt the tears begin to fall Trudy pulled her into a hug, "You be strong, Sal. Go after what you want. Don't be afraid, like me. You deserve to be happy; you deserve to have someone care about you the way she does."

"Thank you Trudy. Thank you for not judging me...or May. I know she cares about me, but I just don't know if I feel the same way."

"Well, from what I've seen tonight, I'd say that you care about her very much," Trudy observed.

As Trudy left the room Sal turned back toward the sleeping baby. How wonderful it was, a new life, a baby boy. The tiny infant was red, as most babies were after birth, with a tuft of black fuzz on his little head. Suddenly a strong maternal feeling came over her, as if this was her own child she was looking at. She knew in that moment that she would be his caretaker; she would help May to raise him, no matter what their relationship came to. He would be like her own son…the son she had never had with Ryan.

Trudy made her way down to the café and joined Ellie and Amber, who were already deep in discussion.

"I know I'm not an expert, Ellie, but I've been through two births so far, and I know what a full term baby looks like. That is not a premature baby," Amber was telling Ellie.

"What are you saying, Amber?" Trudy asked. "Do you think May lied about how far along she was? What's the point of that?"

"Exactly, what's the point of lying about dates and times, unless you're hiding something else?" Amber answered.

"Maybe her relationship with Lex goes back farther than we thought," Ellie reasoned. "Maybe she didn't want us to know that she's been sharing Lex's bed for quite a while, maybe even while Siva was still alive. God knows that's not something to be proud of."

"I don't know, Ellie" Amber questioned, "this just doesn't add up. She's obviously been pregnant for nine months, so what was happening nine months ago? Who could she have been with then?"

"You think she lied about the father?" Trudy said, shocked by the direction of Amber's thoughts.

"Oh Trudy, I don't know what I'm thinking. It's late and it's been a rough few days," Amber sighed dramatically and rose to get a fresh cup of coffee.

"Well, I don't think it's any of our business anyway," Ellie added, "If May wants to tell us, then she'll tell us. If not, then Lex is the father and the baby was a bit early. That's all I need to know."

"I agree with Ellie," said Trudy grabbing a coffee mug from the cupboard, "May's in a fragile state right now, even more so than before. We all need to try and be as understanding as possible. We can't accuse her of anything," Trudy said looking straight at Amber.

"You're both right of course. I'm just being silly." Amber said shaking her head.

"After all, if you were sleeping with Lex, would you want it spread about?" Ellie asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit, "He's not the greatest catch in the sea."

"No…" Trudy and Amber both agreed at once.

Standing just beyond the entrance of the café Gel stood quietly and digested what she had heard. The baby should have been premature, but it wasn't. Amber was suspicious that May had lied about when the baby had been conceived or who the father was. Ellie thought that May hadn't wanted anyone to know that she was having a relationship with Lex. Now they were all laughing about what a poor catch Lex was.

Maybe she hadn't known Lex as long as them, but she knew him better. She understood him. He wasn't a poor catch, he was perfect. She hated May for what she had done to him. She had trapped him into being a father and drug him into a relationship that he didn't want. May had forced him to leave the mall and live in Liberty like an exile.

Life just wasn't fair. May didn't deserve Lex. What if Amber was right and Lex wasn't the father? He would need comforting and she would be there to provide it.

Slowly she tiptoed away from the door, careful not to alert the others to her presence. As she made her way back to her room, she began to make plans.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

"Ram…Ruby…Where is everybody?" Slade asked Lottie, who was sitting at the bar practicing her alphabet.

"They went outside so that I wouldn't hear them argue," Lottie answered, pointing towards the back door, "They've been out there a while though, I thought they'd be back by now. Are you moving back to Liberty, Slade?"

"Nope, sorry little one, just here on a mission. They went this way?" Slade asked her.

"Yep."

Slade opened the back door and stepped out into the Saloons back yard. "Ram…Ruby…" Slade called again. Suddenly a rustle of movement erupted and the two in question stepped from behind a corner of the building. They both seemed to be struggling to quickly pull their clothing back into position, Ruby was attempting to pin her hair back into place. A knowing smile passed over Slade's face as he greeting them. "Well, looks like you two have been getting along pretty well since I left. So how are things going?"

"Shut up Slade," Ruby replied testily, "And get your eyes up where they're supposed to be."

"Hey…Calm down there. I come in peace," Slade answered, throwing his arms out in a conciliatory gesture.

"Sorry Slade, we weren't exactly expecting any visitors. Things have been pretty quiet around here since you and Lex left town," Ram answered while zipping up his Techno shirt.

"Hey, no problem, I'll just go back inside and grab a beer while you two get yourselves together."

"Slade," Ruby called after him, "What are you doing back here?"

Slade turned and looked at the disheveled pair, "The Mallrats are in need of Ram's particular talents, I was sent to fetch him back to the city."

As Slade turned and entered the mall Ram looked down at Ruby, he didn't want to leave her, not now, not when things were going so well between them. He reached down and touched her face. "I won't leave you," he said softly.

"Don't be silly, Ram," Ruby answered him, trying to be strong for both of them, "they need you in the city, you have to help them. Just be careful, don't get killed or anything, I've grown rather fond of you."

Mega stood in his makeshift command center glaring at the small band of Techno's before him.

"I want patrols of these roads and squads stationed here and here," he said authoritatively pointing at a large map of the city. "Slade is obviously headed to Liberty to bring back Ram. Your job is to stop this at all costs. Ram must not be allowed to enter the city limits."

"Sir," his first in command began, "What about the other one…this Slade? Do you want them both deleted?"

Careful to show no hint of emotion Mega replied "No, set your weapons to stun. I want them both brought in alive…they have information on the Mallrats that may be useful to us."

"Yes sir," the commander said as he turned to obey Mega's orders.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

Salene stood with the tiny baby in her arms, looking down on the still sleeping May, how would they ever get through this, she wondered. "Please wake up May," she silently willed her friend, "I need you; I don't know how I'd ever be able to do this without you." Still May slept on. Salene had spent most of the night and the better part of the day pacing back and forth and worrying over May and the baby. With May unconscious and unable to care for the newborn, Salene had been forced to take charge. Trudy had helped her mix up some baby formula and Amber had dug up one of Baby Bray's old bottles. Consequently, the new addition to the Mallrats seemed to be well-fed and happy despite his mother's condition.

As Salene moved over to the makeshift crib to put the little one down for a nap, the door banged open behind her.

"Shhh!" she instantly reacted to the unknown intruder, then turning she spotted Lex.

"Well, I see you've finally decided to make an appearance. Its only been 24 hours. I didn't expect you for at least another week," Salene greeted him sarcastically.

Shrugging of her insult, Lex simply stared at the tiny bundle in her arms. "Is…Is that…it…?" he asked shakily.

"Yes Lex, this is the baby, your son," Salene replied.

"Son…wow…" Lex stammered, at a lost for words for one of the first times in his life.

"Just where have you been, Lex?" Salene asked testily.

"Huh? I was…out."

"Out where, Lex? May could've died, the baby may have starved to death, and where were you? Let me guess, out drinking…stealing…too busy dragging yourself out of the gutter to come back to the mall to see your newborn child." Salene half shouted at him.

As the child in her arms let out a small whimper, Lex shrank back as though he'd been struck.

"I know…I'm sorry. I should've come sooner. It's just…I needed some time alone…to think."

"You…think…" Salene quipped in reply.

"Salene, please, give me a chance," Lex pleaded. "Can I hold him?"

As he approached her and stood before her she began to soften. Reaching out she placed the baby in his arms. Suddenly, a familiar sent caught her attention.

"Lex, you're drunk," she whispered angrily.

"Not drunk," he said softly, "Just recovering."

"Lex, I will not have this kind of behavior around the baby."

"What are you talking about, it's my baby, you can't stop me from being a part of it's life. Or didn't we already go over this. Whatever is going on between you and May, and believe me, I don't want to know; I'm still the father of this child." Lex replied with minor slurring.

Salene rolled her eyes angrily and glanced toward the bed. Lex followed her gaze and for the first time since entering the room, noticed the pale, silent form on the bed.

"Is she…ok?" he asked softly.

"I don't know, Lex. I don't know anything anymore," Salene replied tearily, going to sit beside the bed. Salene lifted May's hand into her own and began to stroke the back of it softly. "She's just got to wake up…She's got so much to live for now...It just can't end like this for us." At last Salene let the tears flow. She had been strong for the baby and for May, now she was spent, she needed rest; she needed someone to hold her and tell her everything would be alright. But there was only Lex, and he certainly was no reassurance.

Standing in the middle of the room holding the sleeping baby in his arms Lex looked from the sobbing Salene back to the silently sleeping May. The drink must be starting to wear off, he though abstractly as a feeling of utter helplessness came over him. Seeking a way to difuse the situation he turned his full attention to the little one.

"Hi there, little one, I'm you're daddy…sorry it took me so long to get here, I was…busy. You're so red…didn't think you'd be that red…Nice black fuzz there on top, just like you're old man. What's your name, huh?" he said softly, speaking to his son for the first time.

"He doesn't have a name yet." Salene answered.

"What! No name! And a day old already. Well we'll just have to call you Little Lex." Lex stated proudly.

"Lex," Salene said, wiping her tears and looking up at him, "I really don't think that's a good choice. I don't think May will like that very much. And I think that one Lex in the Mall is definitely enough."

"Well, what else is there?" Lex replied stubbornly.

"Well, you could name him something different, something like Robert or Richard."

Lex made a face that told her he did not approve of either of those names.

"Well, what about your father, what was his name?" Salene said, trying to help.

Lex's frown deepened, "I am not naming him after my father."

"Well isn't there anyone else that you've respected and admired, someone you wouldn't mind naming your son after." Salene queried.

Lex stood lost in thought for a long time, so long that Salene began to think he had sunk into a drunken stupor. "Never mind Lex, we'll wait until May wakes up to name him. It's better that way anyway."

"Ryan," Lex said softly, looking down at the baby in his arms.

"What Lex, what does Ryan have to do with this?" She said shaking her head.

"No, his name is Ryan," Lex said, looking up at Salene. "You said it should be someone I respected and admired…Well, that was Ryan…he was the only one who was ever really my friend, no matter what stupid things I did or said. He was a good man, a good husband…Things I could never manage to be."

For a moment Salene could only stare at him in awe. Though she suspected that his earlier drinking binge was making him a bit more sappy than usual, he had seen the seriousness of the situation before him and had actually managed to touch her with his little speech.

Salene looked down at the sleeping May as though asking for her approval. As she watched, May's eyes fluttered open weakly.

Salene let out a sound between a sob and a yelp of joy. May was still with them, she was awake, she would recover and everything would be ok.

Reaching out to touch May's face, Salene answered him, never taking her eyes from May's.

"His name is Ryan," she said reverently.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

"So, how are things going between you and Ruby? You seemed to be getting along pretty well," Slade asked Ram as they journeyed toward the city.

Ram shook his head at the question, "Oh Sladey boy, gentlemen don't kiss and tell."

"I don't see any gentlemen here, do you?" Slade returned.

Ram chuckled lightly, "Well, I think she's finally forgiven me for lying about your brain problem. And our uh…discussions…seem to be getting more and more heated."

"Heated you say," Slade began, "does that mean that things are starting to get serious between you two?"

"Oh, I don't know, Slade. I think that Ruby and I need to take it slow for awhile. You know, I'm not exactly prepared to jump into a relationship again…I mean, I did have three wives. Two of them have just recently passed on and the other one is shacked up with you, so I think I probably need to take a break from marriage for awhile."

Slade laughed, "Yeah, you're probably right."

"So how is life at the mall treating you?" Ram asked.

"Oh, you know the Mallrats, never a dull moment. May was in labor when I left."

"Really, isn't it a bit early? Is she ok?" Ram asked.

"I don't know, actually, I set off for Liberty from the hotel without going back to the mall." Slade replied.

"Hmmm…interesting…" Ram sad mysteriously.

"What Ram?"

"Well, May's supposed to be only six months along. What if she's carried full term? Who was she involved with nine months ago? I'll wager it wasn't Lex," answered Ram.

"I don't care that much about May's sex life, Ram," said Slade.

"I think you might if you thought hard enough about who May was hanging out with back then."

"What are you talking about, Ram? I haven't known the Mallrats that long. Does May have some dirty little secret? Was she sleeping with Jay at the time, it seems that everyone else in the mall was…" Slade said, showing his frustration with the whole conversation.

Ram shook his head and looked at his traveling companion sadly, "May was working very closely with Mega for a time to overthrow the Mallrats; she was his spy. They threw her out of the mall for her betrayal. It just so happens, that was about nine months ago…"

Slade's eyes widened at the implications of Ram's story…Mega…Josh…could it be? "But how do you know all this? Weren't you in Liberty with me at the time?" Slade asked incredulously.

"Well, yes, I was. But you left me alone with only Lex for company, while you ran off to the city to play with Ebony. And Jack and I worked together for quite awhile and he likes to talk." Ram explained.

"So, you really think that my brother and May…that he might be the father of her…that I might be an uncle…?"

"Well, I'm not saying anything definite of course," Ram said reasonably.

Slade shook his head in an attempt to sort out his thoughts, "Listen to us," he said with strained lightness, "we sound like gossiping old women."

"Yeah, you're right, just put it out of your mind. None of our business anyway." Ram replied.

"Yeah. None of our business…" Slade said slowly, letting the conversation subside into silence. But as they walked toward the city his mind was filled with thoughts of his brother. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he the father of May's child?

"Hi Jack," Gel said as she sat down across from him at the café table.

"Hi Gel," Jack answered back distractedly.

"Jack, I was wondering about something."

"Yeah, what about?" Jack queried.

"Well, how close are you to May? How long have you known her?" She asked him.

"Oh I don't know, I think I've known her about three years. She moved into the mall the year after the virus." Jack answered.

"But how close are you?" Gel asked again.

"I don't know Gel, she lives here, we're Mallrats; she's a friend. Don't you consider her a friend?" Jack replied.

"Her?" Gel said with a touch of disgust in her tone, "What I meant was, have you ever been more than friends?" Gel said, sidestepping Jack's question.

"No Gel, I've never dated May and I don't intend to. I'm in a relationship if you've forgotten," Jack said looking up as Ellie entered the room.

Gel turned and glanced at the newcomer and stood up abruptly. "Bye Jack, see you later." She said as she flounced out of the room and almost collided with Sammy.

"Hmfff…Sammy, watch where you're going," Gel said huffily.

"Sorry, Trudy told me to take this tray up to Salene" Sammy offered as an excuse. "You wanna come? Maybe she'll let us hold the baby for awhile."

"No thank you, babies really aren't my thing," Gel answered, wrinkling her nose a bit at the idea, "I didn't think they were yours either, what's your fascination with this one about?"

"What do you mean?" Sammy said warily.

Gel eyed him for a moment and then asked, "Just how close are you and May?"

"Did you hear that?" Slade asked Ram quietly.

"What?"

Slade scanned his surroundings carefully then shook his head, "Never mind, must be my imagination playing tricks on me. Come on, we're almost there, we should be at the mall by nightfall." Slade said, picking up the pace a bit.

A sound behind them caught Ram's attention this time, he turned just in time to see a Techno step from behind a nearby bush. "Slade! Watch out." Ram called.

But Slade had already seen them, the Techno who had stepped in front of him had gotten a fist in the face, he turned toward the next assailant to see a laser pointed at him, he ducked just as the shot was fired. As he came up he caught his attacker in the chest with an uppercut, sending him sprawling to the ground.

A laser shot from behind Slade went shooting past his ear and he turned just in time to see another shot hit Ram in the chest.

"Ram!" Slade yelled and began to run toward his fallen friend. He tripped and fell to the ground just as one of the enemies he'd fought with earlier regained enough sense to strike back. As Slade struggled to his feet he saw two Technos dragging Ram into the back of a truck.

Slade managed to avoid another laser shot by ducking to the side, but got a jab in the chin that sent him staggering backwards. Regaining his balance quickly, he pulled a knee up and connected with his opponent's groin, sending him crumpling to the ground.

Slade turned back towards the truck just as the Technos were driving away towards the city with Ram.

Turning back to the defeated Techno still laying on the ground before him, he grabbed him by the hair and screamed at him, "Where are they taking Ram!"

Though beaten and defeated the Techno refused to answer.

"Tell me!" Slade yelled again, "Where's Josh?"

A blank look was his only reply.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

May looked up into Salene's eyes and realized that she had at last rejoined the land of the living. She had no idea how long she had been unconscious, perhaps it had only been a few minutes, but by the look on Salene's face she judged it had been much longer. She had been dreaming of her parents; they had wanted her to come with them, to be their little girl again. But there was no going back to that life, she had come to far, done to many things that would have horrified her parents. As much as she hated to admit it, her life was here, with the Mallrats.

Salene gently stroked her face with a hand and then spoke softly, "His name is Ryan."

Whose name, May wondered. Then she heard another voice "My son, Ryan…he would have been proud, don't you think?"

"Yes, Lex, I think Ryan would have been very proud," Salene answered softly before turning her attention back to the baby's mother. "May…May, are you really awake?"

May managed a weak nod in Salene's direction.

"Lex, May's awake. Can you go down to the café and get Trudy or Ellie to fix up some broth or something for her? Bring the baby here; I'll take him for a bit."

May watched Lex gently place the baby in Salene's arms and leave the room.

"Here's you son, May…Isn't he beautiful?" Salene asked softly, holding the child so that May could get her first glimpse of her son.

"Yes," May replied weakly as her vision began to blur with tears. He was here now…there was no denying the truth any longer. This was her son, hers to hold, to love, to raise into a man. But how? How could she possibly raise a child, when she couldn't even look at him, she thought bleakly as she turned her head away.

"It's alright May, you're safe now. Everything is going to be fine. The pain is over," Salene said encouragingly, wiping her brow with a damp cloth, "and I'll take good care of both of you until your regain your strength."

May turned her head and stared up into Salene's eyes. It seemed something had changed between them. Salene had changed…"Now let me just put little Ryan down for his nap and then you and I can chat for a bit."

May was suddenly overcome with a strong urge to tell Salene everything. Perhaps it was her weakened condition or perhaps it had been something she had seen in Sal's eyes, but the burden of lies was becoming too great to bear alone. May watched as Sal headed toward the crib with her newborn baby and settled him down so lovingly for his nap. As the emotions flooded over her, she opened her mouth to let the truth out at last, "Salene, I have something to tell you," she began carefully.

"Yes, May, what is it?" Salene answered, turning back toward the bed.

Suddenly the door to the room swung open, "Alright here's the soup," Lex said loudly from the doorway, "and you better appreciate it, because I had to put up with Trudy lecturing me the entire time," he said as he sat the tray down on the bedside table.

"Thank you Lex," Salene said appreciatively, then added, "Can you take this bag of dirty diapers out to the trash please."

"No…" Lex said immediately, "Let's just get this straight. I'm not a nursmaid and I'm not taking orders from you," he said, heading for the door.

"But Lex, he's your son," Salene countered.

Lex turned on Salene, "Yeah, but I'm not the one sharing a bed with his mother," he said, pointing his finger at her, "You can take out the dirty diapers."

May lay back on the bed and shut her eyes…obviously this was not quite the right time for the truth.

Ruby stood at the bar washing glasses while Lottie dried. It had been unnaturally quiet in the saloon since Slade and Ram had left. Ruby had tried to keep busy, tried to keep her mind off the danger that Ram was walking into. But all morning her thoughts had dwelled on Technos and Mega, lasers and bombs.

She could hear a commotion outside. People were screaming, running down the street. "Stay here," she told Lottie firmly as she went to the door to look out. As she stood looking down Liberty's main street at what had caused the panic, the glass in her hand slipped from her grip and shattered on the floor.

A Techno stumbled up the street toward the saloon. He was obviously seriously injured and was still bleeding from a wound on his head. Slade…the thought sprang to her mind…she had seen him fight before, had seen him knock people unconscious with a single blow to the head.

The Techno stumbled up the steps and onto her porch before collapsing in a heap on the doorstep.

"Lottie, get the medical supplies. Hurry," Ruby called out, kneeling down over the Techno. He was still conscious. "Ram…where's Ram?" Ruby asked insistently.

The Techno shook his head from side to side, "Can't…Can't…go back…to…Mega…" he said, not in response to her question, but from the recesses of his own incoherent mind, "Kill me…he'll…kill…me," he finished weakly and slipped into complete unconsciousness.

Ruby stood up and looked back at Lottie, "Pack you bags, we're going to the city."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Ram awoke to the roar of an engine and an aching head. A brief review revealed that he was blindfolded, gagged and bound hand and foot. He was able to determine that he was in a truck obviously being transported somewhere…but where? What was it that he last remembered?

Techno's.

He and Slade had been attached by Techno's as they traveled toward the city. But was Slade here too? He didn't think so…and if they hadn't captured him, had they killed him?

Suddenly Ram felt the truck slow to a stop. He was then pulled from the truck and unceremoniously dumped on the ground.

"Well…" said a familiar voice above him, "What have we here?" As his blindfold was removed Ram found himself staring up into Mega's cold gray eyes.

"I've finally found it," Amber said as she walked into the room carrying a large box of baby clothes. "These are the clothes and the toys that Bray has grown out of. I'm sure you'll find lots of things in here that will fit Ryan."

"I'm sure we will, Amber," Salene said gratefully, helping her to set the box down in the middle of the room. "Thank you so much for doing this for us."

"It's no trouble Salene; Trudy did the same for me when Bray was born. They grow so fast, it's amazing we manage to keep clothes on them," Amber said with a fond look down at little Bray's discarded clothing. "Take whatever you need and don't worry about it. That's what family is for, after all." Looking around the room Amber noticed May, sitting in a chair by the crib staring into space. "Salene," Amber whispered softly, "Is she ok?"

Salene looked sideways at May and then let her gaze linger a bit on baby Ryan before turning back to Amber and whispering her reply, "She's still a bit lost, Amber. But don't worry, she'll be alright. I'll help her."

Amber put a hand on Salene's shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile. "I'm glad she has you for a friend. Just remember, we're all here if you need us. I'll leave you to it then. Trudy said dinner should be ready around 6. You should both come down and join us. Bring the baby, the others will enjoy it and you'll get a bit of a break. See you then," she said as she closed the door behind her leaving the little family alone once again.

"May, why don't you come help me with these clothes," Salene suggested softly.

Moving slowly, May stood, made her way over to the box and sat down gingerly on the floor beside Salene.

"Oh, isn't this one adorable," Salene exclaimed holding up a small garment for her inspection.

"Yeah, I guess," May replied, sounding not at all convinced. "It looks a bit too…natural."

"Natural?" Salene queried.

"Well, foresty," May answered.

"Well both Brady and Baby Bray did start out as Eco babies, so I guess that explains that," Salene said with a grin. "Don't suppose that'll please Lex too much, he always hated the Eco's."

"Who cares what Lex thinks," May said sullenly.

"Well he does have quite an opinion, and he is the father," Salene said reasonably.

"Salene…" May said pleadingly, looking up at her friend with her heart showing in her eyes. "I need to tell you something. Something I've been keeping from you…from everyone…for a long time."

"What is it May?" Salene said softly.

"Please don't hate me Salene…Please…don't hate me." May pleaded.

"May, I could never hate you. I'm very happy. I want to be with you and help you raise little Ryan. Nothing can come between us now," answered Salene.

May stared up at her friend and wondered if she really, truly meant what she was saying. Did she really understand the full meaning of her words. She had hated the idea of being with her just a few days ago...and now...she was ready for a relationship. Perhaps it could work, with the baby here now to bring them together...but there was still this, this lie...between them.

Her heart twisted at the thought of ruining what little chance they did have for happiness, but May knew that the time had come. There could be no more lies between them. "Salene…Lex…he's not…" May began, turning her gaze toward the floor. "Lex isn't the father, Salene,"

"He's not?" Salene asked.

"No…" May admitted, tears now streaming down her face.

"But May, why would you lie about that…who is the father?"

"I can't say it, Salene. It's too horrible. You'll hate me forever…"

"May," Salene began, reaching out with her hand and lifting May's chin slightly so she could see her face. "I could never hate you…no matter how horrible it is." Softly she touched her lips to May's, then lifted her head and looked down into her eyes. "Please don't be afraid to tell me."

As May looked up at Salene, she at last felt that she could tell her…she could let another soul into her world, into her suffering. Perhaps love was stronger than hate…Maybe Salene wouldn't hate her forever. Maybe the truth would free her from this terrible darkness.

And so, looking up into Salene's eyes she uttered the name that she hadn't dare let pass her lips in months, "Mega…It's Mega's baby, he's the father."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

The baby clothes Salene had been holding dropped to the floor, forgotten. She stared at May with wide, shocked eyes. She moved her mouth as she tried to find her voice, but no sound would come out.

"Salene, please say something…Don't hate me." May pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

Salene shook her head, whether in answer to May's question or to clear her mind, May couldn't tell.

"It just happened Sal, I don't know how. I didn't love him, I don't care for him. I care for you...This was all just a big mistake." May tried to explain.

"A mistake…" Sal had finally found her voice, "You call this a mistake. May, forgetting to put the coffee on in the morning is a mistake, sleeping with the enemy and having his baby is not a mistake, it's treason."

"No, Salene. Please don't say that…When I slept with him the Mallrats weren't my friends. They were all against me. Mega had made promises. He seemed so friendly, so genuine. I really thought that I could trust him. I was wrong, but I didn't find that out until later…until it was too late. And then when I found out I was pregnant I didn't want to believe it. I tried to end it, but I couldn't go through with it. And Lex was there, and he was willing…he's always willing…so I took advantage of him; I used him. It was an awful lie, Salene; a big lie. Do you know what it's been like living with it all these months?"

"No, I can't imagine what's it's been like. Because I've never lied like that…How could you, May? How could you lie to me…to us all these months?" Salene questioned loudly, looking more hurt and confused than angry. "How could you let us believe that Lex was the father? Poor Lex…May, he really cares about this baby. He wants to be a father. What are you going to do May?" Salene queried.

"I don't know." May wailed in reply.

"You'll have to tell them eventually." Salene reasoned. "You can't let Lex go on being a father to the man who murdered his wife…who had half the Mallrats deleted. Can you imagine what that would do to him if he found out later, and it wasn't you who told him? Mega's alive May. He's threatened the mall once already. He's going to come after us again. And all he has to do is count on his fingers to figure out that Ryan is his son."

"Stop…Stop…I already know all this. Don't think I haven't spent countless days and nights alone up here thinking about these things." May cried desperately.

"Well then why haven't you done something about it?" Salene yelled back at her.

"What Salene? What am I supposed to do…tell me…please…," May sobbed.

Salene took her by the shoulders and looked her square in the eye, "You tell the truth," she said calmly.

"No…" May whispered.

"Yes, right now." Salene stood up and held a hand out for May.

May stared at the hand as if it were a viper. Never had she imagined that Salene would have this reaction. She had envisioned hatred, silence, yelling and rejection. But the idea that Salene would want her to tell the truth to the others had never crossed her mind. She could not tell the others. They would throw her out…And then she would have no one…but the baby.

"Come on May, we're going downstairs to call a meeting." Salene said with an air of authority as she reached down and grabbed Mays arm to pull her to her feet.

"No!" May screamed at her and began to scramble away…a look of utter horror on her face.

As Salene began to move towards her, intent on getting her downstairs if she had to carry her, a loud explosion rocked the mall.

Shouts and screams wafted up from outside, footsteps raced down the hall towards the staircase. Salene could hear Jay and Ebony shouting orders to their troops above the din.

Her thoughts veered away from May's horrible truth, towards the baby and his safety. Sparing a glance towards her friend to make certain that she was ok, Salene raced towards the crib and grabbed the baby up. At that moment Jack burst through the door…

"Sal, May, are you alright?" Jack asked quickly.

"Yes, we're fine." Sal confirmed.

"Come downstairs. We're gathering in the basement to count heads and make sure that everyone's alright. Ebony and Jay are outside trying to get things under control. When things are safe they'll be in to give us instructions." Jack explained.

Alright. We're coming…thank you Jack." Sal said clutching the baby to her chest and grabbing at May's hand.

As they ran towards the basement, Salene observed that the lobby of the mall was filled with smoke and debris. The wing of the phoenix statue was laying in pieces on the floor and the air smelled strongly of sulfur.

They ran on, down into the basement, where the cell was that Mega had inhabited many months ago. The other mallrats were already gathered there, with the exception of Jay and Ebony, who were outside and Slade, who had not yet returned from Liberty. Gel was sobbing loudly on Amber's shoulder and her pink dressed was torn and stained…with blood…

"Amber, what's wrong. Is everyone alright." Salene asked, not taking her eyes from the distraught Gel.

"It's Sammy, Sal. He's gone." Amber answered softly.

"What do you mean gone? Do you mean that he's outside in the middle of all of the fighting." Salene asked.

Amber shook her head wearily. "No Sal…he's dead, he was in the lobby during the explosion."

A strangled sob escaped May's throat as the impact of Amber's words sunk in…Mega had attacked again. And this time he had managed to kill. And it was her fault…her fault he was alive…her fault Sammy was dead.

May turned and ran back up the stairs towards the lobby of the mall. Salene yelled after her. Amber ordered her to stop…to stay downstairs. Trudy put Brady down and raced up the stairs after her.

May made her way around the rubble towards the phoenix statue…there among the rubble she saw him.

"May…May…," Trudy called, "Where are you May?" Then she saw her. May sat on the floor with Sammy cradled in her arms, rocking back and forth and sobbing her heart out. His blood covered her hands and her chest, but she was oblivious to it all.

"May…" Trudy said softly and laying a hand on her shoulder. "Let him go May. He's gone. You need to think about yourself. About your baby. Ryan needs his mother. Come on…come with me."

May looked up into Trudy's caring, sympathetic expression and unbidden, the words tumbled from her lips. "It's my fault…Mega's alive because of me. Sammy's dead because of me. Mega's Ryan's father, not Lex."

Trudy stumbled back for a moment, then regained her footing and her thoughts. "Shhh…May. It's alright." She said comfortingly.

"I'm so sorry, Trudy." May sobbed, "I'm so sorry."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

By that afternoon Ruby had commandeered a truck from some of the Liberty locals and was on her way to the city with Lottie and the unconscious Techno in tow. Ruby drove like a woman possessed as she traversed the asphalt road that had long fell into disrepair. Finding Ram was her only concern.

Lottie sat in the back watching over the unconscious man. Ruby had tended his wounds and poured some kind of tonic down his throat, ensuring that he would be reasonably comfortable and unaware throughout the bumpy ride. As Lottie watched him sleep she thought of all that the Technos had done…all that they had destroyed. This one didn't look that dangerous. Of course, he was asleep, so she couldn't be sure, but he actually looked rather nice.

A very large pothole suddenly interrupted her thoughts and she clutched the side of the truck tightly to keep from falling out. A moan sounded from the man beside her and she looked down to find two wide, incredibly blue eyes staring up at her.

"Tracy…" He said softly, while raising his hand up to her face. Obviously he was still in a bit of a haze.

"No, it's Lottie," she said as his hand fell limply back down to his side. She noticed his eyes change a bit, as if his vision was clearing. A flash of pain showed on his face as they bounced over another large pothole.

"Where…?" He managed to mutter softly and with much effort.

"We're on our way to the city," Lottie explained, "Ruby borrowed a truck so that we could get there faster. She's trying to be brave, but I know she's terribly worried about Ram and Slade. They were on their way back to the Mall when they were attacked…" her words faded into silence as she thought about the part that this Techno had played in all of this. He had probably been there, had taken part in the attack. Ruby hadn't explained very much to her, but she had a feeling that the Techno had been beaten up by Slade and left for dead.

"Mall?" The Techno muttered the question a bit stronger than the other words he had managed to get out so far.

"Yes, we're going to the Mall," Lottie replied.

"No…" The Techno began to shake his head from side to side. Then to Lottie's horror he began to shift around to a sitting position. He was obviously in pain and this was not an easy task for him, but he seemed determined to get up. When he had pulled himself upright into a crouch, Lottie suddenly knew what he intended.

She banged on the window of the cab desperately and began shouting, "Ruby! Ruby!"

The truck screeched to a halt.

The Techno turned around to look at the shouting girl, she was staring at him with that look that the virts sometimes had, as if he was a devil about to take her soul. It was unsettling, to be so feared by others, when he felt just as normal and lost as they did. He couldn't bear it anymore. He couldn't look at her, she reminded him to much of his little sister, too much of Tracy. A wave of nausea overtook him and he turned back around, intent on stumbling from the truck and into the bushes to loose what was left of his breakfast.

Suddenly a fist connected with his nose sending him sprawling backwards into the truckbed.

His last thought before she landed the blow that knocked him senseless was that an angel was standing over him, blond hair flying in the wind, a halo of sunlight around her head, maybe she was here to save him, then again maybe not...


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

Slade had tracked the Techno vehicle over the rough country roads, through the city's waste strewn outer edges and had at last reached what he believed was Mega's headquarters. The truck had gotten here long before him. Now he sat staring at the gate, trying to determine how to get inside.

The place seemed devoid of life and he wondered if he was crazy, maybe his tracking skills weren't as good as he thought, maybe the truck hadn't come here. Then he heard it, the roar of an engine coming towards him. He crouched low behind the nearby bushes and watched it approach the gates. This was Mega's army, Slade thought to himself. Techno's were piled into the truck. Slade looked closer and saw that this army looked as though they had just been defeated in battle. They looked like weary, injured, beaten men going back to face their commander and tell him of their failure. Mega would not go easy on them, of that Slade was certain.

Crouching low Slade moved from his place in the trees down toward the road. He moved in quickly beside the truck and crouched low to the ground. As the gates opened to allow the Techno's entrance Slade slipped in behind them. Before the truck could empty its contents, Slade found a hiding place close by with a clear view of the headquarters' entrance and settled down to wait for his brother to make an appearance.

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"What do you mean the mission was not completed?" Mega asked through gritted teeth as he glared at his captain.

"Jay's guard sir, and Ebony's militia, they overwhelmed us," the captain explained.

Quietly, Mega closed the distance between them. "Are you telling me that you failed?" Mega asked, his voice slightly raised. "Are you telling me that you let Jay and Ebony's ragged army defeat you?" his voice was becoming louder by the second. "Are you telling me that the Mallrats have won?" he shouted at his captain.

The captain nodded slightly, looking incredibly frightened.

Mega took a steadying breath and began again, in a calm, emotionless voice, "Let me tell you something…The Mallrats have not won yet. We'll keep trying, we'll wear them down. We have better weapons, more technology, we have brains…" he paused and looked down at his captain, "well…most of us," at this obvious slight the Techno captain looked down at the floor in shame.

"But most important of all," Mega continued, "we have Ram."

"What?" Ram exclaimed with a cry of alarm.

Mega turned to face the former Techno leader. It was disgusting, the weakness he could see in him. This was not the same Ram who had enslaved countless children in his quest for a perfect virtual world. This was Ram, the Mallrat. A man who had been contaminated by their ideals, their way of life and their women…this was not the Ram he had known.

"Yes, Ram," Mega said coldly, "I think you will be a useful tool in our little war."

"What makes you think that I would ever help you?" Ram asked contemptuously.

Mega regarded Ram for a moment, thinking to himself that this man could be easily manipulated, bent to his will. He had bested Ram before, he would do so again. Those fools may have failed to bring in Slade, but at least they had delivered the former Techno leader to him. This may have been fortuitous indeed. Slade would have never have helped him and he would have been forced to finish his brother…he would finish Ram too, but he could afford to wait a bit. At least Ram would not try to psychoanalyze him or reform him.

"I seem to remember that you have a rather close relationship with my brother, isn't that right?" Mega asked his captive in a seemingly casual manner. "You wouldn't want anything to happen to Slade, anything fatal."

Ram regarded him with a closed expression. He knew he was being toyed with. He had seen Mega in action before.

When his threat failed to elicit the proper response Mega tried a different tactic. Leaning in closer towards his prey he arched one regal brow, "Such a nice little family life you've been leading down in Liberty. The little girl, Lottie, you love her almost like a daughter don't you? That's so touching; it would be such a shame if she had an accident." Ram's expression faltered, showing a bit of pain and indecision…Mega knew that he had touched a nerve, now it was time to move in for the kill. "And the woman you've been seeing. She's such a lovely thing, what's her name? Oh don't tell me…I know…Ruby…What a life you could have together. Pity she won't live long enough to see you again."

At that remark Ram crumbled. Not Ruby, Mega could do anything to him, threaten anyone, but not Ruby…because Ram knew what Mega was capable of…he would kill without a thought. And he couldn't lose Ruby, not now, not after all he'd done, after how far he had come.

"Alright," Ram said dejectedly, "What do you want? I'll do whatever you want."


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who's responded so far and to tribebohemian for all the kind words about the artwork and the story. I appreciate all the feedback and so sorry that it's taken me so long to post an update. Enjoy the new chapter and please let me know what you think. :)

Chapter 24:

Salene looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms. He was so innocent, so peaceful, so blissfully unaware of what was going on around him. If only she could be that lucky. She felt as if her world had begun to fall apart. May's revelation about the baby's real father had shocked and angered her, but before she had had time to process everything the explosion had hit the mall.

Now the ragged tribe of Mallrats was gathered on the hill overlooking the city to bury another friend and tribe mate. In the years since the virus they had gotten very good at funerals. Every few months it seemed they were burying another friend. Now they stood here before Sammy's grave.

"Does anyone want to say anything?" Amber asked the group.

Salene looked around her. May sobbed quietly to her right while Gel stood solemnly on her left with her eyes fixed on the mound of dirt before her. The others all watched the proceedings in respectful silence. Salene clutched the baby a bit tighter, took a deep breath and stepped forward. "Sammy was a very special boy. He was still young, with so much to live for. He deserved better. He should have been able to grow up with loving parents in a house on a quiet street. He should have gotten to go to school and have friends and play sports. Instead he had us and the mall. He was a Mallrat and he was proud to be a part of us. And I was proud to have known him." Salene took a steadying breath before continuing on, "I'm sorry Sammy…I'm sorry that we failed you. I'm sorry we couldn't protect you from all the pain and hurt and sorrow in this world. You're with your parents now…I hope that you've found your peace."

As she stepped back to her place, Gel leaned over and draped the traditional nameplate necklace with Sammy's name on it over the makeshift marker.

"Goodbye, Sammy," she murmured softly.

May let out a sob and turned away from the touching scene. It was too much…her guilt was consuming her, she had to get away. She had only taken a few steps when she felt a hand on her arm, stopping her progress. She turned to see Trudy standing behind her wearing a look full of understanding and sympathy.

"It's not your fault," Trudy said softly.

May simply stared at her, shaking her head…it was her fault, there was no other explanation, no alternative. Trudy didn't understand. How could she? But then something in Trudy's eyes reminded her…She had had a secret once too; Zoot. As her mind raced and her feelings whirled, Trudy reached out and pulled her into a hug.

For the first time May thought that maybe, just maybe, the Mallrats might understand. They might forgive her. After all, they had been through something very similar before. But then, Trudy had always been more a part of things then May had. Hadn't she?

"It's nobody's fault," Amber spoke from behind them loudly enough for the whole group to hear. "This was simply a terrible tragedy. Mega's attack was harsh and brutal. We've lost so many friends. But to lose one of the children like this…well, we need to be on our guard in the future. We need to watch out for each other and stick together. We're still a tribe. We're still Mallrats. Zoot and the Guardian, Mega and the Technos, none of them can take that from us."

Lex rolled his eyes, "Such a touching pep talk."

"Lex, now is not the time," Jay warned in a low voice.

"When is the time, Jay?" Lex countered. "We're just supposed to go back to the mall like a happy little tribe and try and make believe that it's not a death trap."

"The mall is not a death trap. Stop being dramatic," Amber chastised.

Lex waived his arm toward the freshly dug grave and gave Amber a patronizing look, "Then how do you explain this?"

"Lex, stop it," said Jay in his best commander voice. "We'll be more prepared next time. We can take steps to make the mall a safer place for everyone, but we need to stick together. Our success depends upon it."

"My success depends on staying alive," said Lex forcefully.

"Enough!" Salene yelled at the top of her lungs. "This is a funeral, not a meeting of the war council. We're supposed to be remembering Sammy, not trying to tear each other apart."

Salene's loud outburst had taken everyone by surprise, including Little Ryan whose cries began to fill the air.

"I think it's time for us to go home," Trudy suggested to the stunned group as everyone shifted their gazes from Salene down to Sammy's resting place.

After a last round of goodbye's the little group made their way down the hillside and back to the only home some of them had known since the virus…the mall.

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Ruby pulled the truck to a stop and stared in shock at the scene of destruction before her. The street in front of the mall looked like a war zone and the mall itself looked like it had taken a direct hit. Panic gripped her as she looked frantically around for signs of life.

"What happened here?" Lottie's voice quested from behind her.

"Stay here, Lottie. I'm going to investigate." Ruby ordered.

"Not by yourself," Lottie said worriedly.

Ruby got out of the truck and walked around to the back to check on the unconscious Techno. He was still out cold. Lottie looked scared and worried.

"It's ok, Lottie. I'm sure the Mallrats are around somewhere. I'm just going to go in first and look around. I'll be right out. Besides, someone has to stand guard over our prisoner."

Lottie didn't look convinced, but nodded her agreement anyway.

Stepping slowly and carefully around fallen debris, Ruby made her way to the entrance of the mall. "Hello…Hello," she called out into the eerie silence. She walked a bit further, passed the open grate and into the lobby area. The phoenix statue had been damaged; a wing lay on the floor in pieces. Was that…blood? Oh no, what had happened here?

"Hello," she called again, "Is anybody here?" She was beginning to feel sick to her stomach, but she wasn't yet willing to give up hope. "Amber…Jay…Lex…"

"You won't find them," Came a voice behind her.

Ruby whirled around in shock and came face to face with her Techno prisoner.

"What do you mean? Do you know what happened here?" She asked angrily.

"Technos," Was his only reply.

Lottie came running through the open door and skidded to a stop next to the broken wing. "I'm sorry Ruby. I wasn't paying attention and he got away."

Ignoring Lottie's outburst, Ruby advanced on the Techno, "I want answers now! Where are the Mallrats? What's happened here?" She yelled at him in uncontrolled fury.

"Mega…he planned an attack on the mall. He had a bomb built. It looks like it worked," he said in an almost weary voice as he looked around the mall at the destruction.

"But where are they?" She screamed at him again.

He looked at her then, a look of pain and guilt showing in his eyes. This was what his tribe was about…causing pain and hurt to others. This was what Mega had done to them…and he didn't want to be a part of it anymore...couldn't be a part of it anymore.

"I don't know where they are," he answered her honestly, "If they're alive, I'm sure they have been taken as prisoners."

"No!" Ruby yelled in pain and hurled herself at the lone Techno. He lunged backward trying to avoid her but tripped over a piece of debris and landed hard on the ground. Ruby began to pummel him in the chest, but her screams and cries were doing more harm to him than her fists. Her pain tore at his heart.

"What's this?" Amber's voice interrupted her tirade, "Lottie? Ruby, Is that you?"


End file.
